Get my mind right!

I sit here wading through thought, restlessness and activity that must be achieved.  Very vague but true.  I am in a great position here and truly appreciate what I have been blessed with and every day I must challenge myself to be better.  I don't have a boss who has an office two doors down from me, he is in another city which is in another state!  I am the one who runs this and I must step up on a daily basis and make sure all of the ground work I started in September continues to this day.  There are days where team members make a mistake, now I have to look at that mistake and deem it a quick floor conversation or a "let's move to the office and talk" conversation.  I've had a few of the later but my goal is to set it up that I should rarely set foot on that floor, I want and need to work to the next level while I am currently running operations here for example our Operations Excellence director is working all the CI projects, I am a CI guy and could help with quality input, travel to get productive data, take some of the workload off and make it my own, to solidify my position and set myself up to move to the next level when promotions are considered.
I have several books on styles of management, I am currently reading a book that talks about how I got to where I am will not get me to the next level.  Very interesting stuff, of course there are a few other books I am reading at the same time along with my comic books and graphic novels.  Yes, I enjoy reading and wish it would better me around my writing skills.  A quote comes to mind, "You get out of it what you put into it,"...right?

So I sit here and thoughts of MW3 are streaming through my thoughts.  Fifth prestige, 1.03 k/d, just doing work!  Those thoughts are quickly followed by sitting at a poker table and felting a lunchbox who called my three beat with A 10 off and runs into my pocket aces.  All of these things take effort, I am an okay texas hold'em player and have been a gamer since rocking and rolling on my commodore 64 in the 80's!

The last couple of years have been unsuccessful in poker in the cash games,  it was so bad last year that I told my wife I'd have to take the rest of 2011 off and not play in a casino environment.  Why?  I had not put into it what I expected!  I have a library of poker books, a lot of friends who play much better than myself and blogs to read and I have not leveraged any of those resources.  I just went off of what I knew and told myself it was like riding a bicycle and  I sat down and played.  Of course I SKIMMED through a couple of my books looking at a few of the highlighted areas and told myself, "LET's DO IT!"
 It was not that easy, I remember sitting at the table, holding K Q suited in the cut off seat and this lady in the hi jack, right next to me raises after two had limped into the pot and I just called but something in the way back of my head told me I should raise here, but I was not sure.  I ended up winning the hand but after that indecision I continued to make bad decisions and eventually lost a buy in.  I have over 10 books about poker and am reading through one that has opened my eyes and has me salivating to get to the tables.  I plan on making a showing in late February and hope to play on Friday evenings going forward and look forward to documenting my WINS and how it was done.  I am putting a lot of research into getting back on the tables and will be talking to a few of my buddy's about random thought processes throughout a session.  I believe that putting the research time, the study in will pay off and it was something I did not do well before.  Yes, I talked about it and said I was going to do it but I actually am and it has been insightful.

Barry Sanders...THE MAN!

I love my family, I love my home, I love my life and I look at others who have children and wonder if my desire to play and take some time from my kids is bad?  What I mean is if I go play poker, I am not around my kids, sharing in those special moments.  For example, my three year old, Sienna, ran into the living room, jumped up next to me on the couch looked at me, smiled and said I love you daddy.  I said I loved her back.  She continued to sit there for a few more seconds and said "You love me enough to get me some milk?"  That was awesome!  She usually taps my hand and says Daddy get me some milk.  Then I have to say, What was that honey?  Then she says, Can you fix me some milk?  But this time it was special as she is learning to manipulate me!  LOL!  It'll only be an evening out of the week but maybe it's the way I am putting down that it seems and feels despicable.  Yet, I want and feel that I need to play and it worries me and I hope it does not worry me so much that I will play bad.  So as I stated in another post, I have to give up my x-box time and hang out with the kids during that time and the weekends are wide open for my little ones.  I have a 17 year old who wants to play football for the first time IN COLLEGE and has asked me to show him some stuff!  Color me excited!  The only things I force on my kids are learning how to respect others, discipline and making sure they are getting an education.  I envy my wife as she lives here life for my kids, not that I don't but it is much different in comparing how she is versus how I am with our kids.  What the heck just happened, now should I delete all this mopey stuff about my kids or should I leave it, hell, going to leave it!  We only live once folks, but we need to do what we want responsibly and hold ourselves accountable!  I know my kids love me to death and I them, so it won't hurt if I am a bit successful at the tables and it pays off when Santa comes...just saying!  Enough!  I have ranted enough, you all stay frosty!

Stay nice as rice and mello as jello!